Tuesday, September 27, 2011

No more shots, Don't want the flu shot this year. Thank You

Are Flu shots mandatory now??? I keep getting recorded messages that my daughter needs a recommended immunization. Then it says flu shots are important to keeping her healthy. I feel like telling that fucking recording well guess what 3 days after last years flu & H1N1 shot she got sick, her asthma kicked in and she was hospitalized. Now she has diabetes and gets shots every day. That Flu shot didn't really keep her healthy now did it. She had so many colds last year. I know the Flu shot doesn't cover colds but when it does then they could say it will help keep her healthy. I have received recorded messages from the Pediatrician, Health insurance and the state. WTF I even got 2 letters in the mail telling me that flu shots are now available and she needs one.
This year since its our 1st year with Diabetes I wanted to make sure she was covered for everything and I did want to get her a flu shot but she has been fighting us on all of her shots. We are tired of struggling so I don't want to traumatize her once more this year and get the flu shot. We will be skipping the flu shot this year. Hope the Pediatrician, Health Insurance & State don't send the police. I just don't understand the pressure or the persistence of pushing for us to get her flu shot.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Pump Training Tomorrow

Tomorrow we have our pump training for Elyssa's new pump. We watched the video today I sort of went through the handbook. I had a short attention span and kept forgetting where I was reading so I gave up. Elyssa has been really fighting us when we try to give her insulin injections lately. Pumping can't come soon enough. I said before I am afraid to give up the 24hr long acting Levimir for short acting basal insulin. I'm afraid we will get more lows. I'm also worried she is not going to handle having the pump on her 24/7 but we shall see. I think she's smart and will rather the pump with a site change every 3 days rather than shots 4-5x a day. I'm really sick of all the up & down BG numbers that Diabetes causes. Last week we got tons of highs now we're having big drops and lows this week. It's really depressing when you try so hard to get good numbers but Elyssa is so sensitive and bounces around all over the place. So today I was good with her numbers. We didn't have anything over 250. Yay.
Todays BGs were
2am 187
4am 153
7am 59
11am 56
2:30pm 242
3:30pm 144
5pm 131
8pm 142
10:30pm 209

Not proud of the lows but sometimes it's hard to get them back up. I think we did a good job with Elyssa's BG levels today. I hope we can do a good job with the pump too.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Will she remember the Good or Bad days?

Saturday Elyssa woke up from a nap, she wanted milk, I handed her the milk and oh shit she couldn't grasp the cup. Before she took her nap she was 157. I checked her really quick and got a 53. What the hell why didn't I check her BGs first before I took my sweet time getting some milk? Did my brain briefly forget she has diabetes? I got the Smarties, a banana & juice so she could pick which one she wanted. I opened the Smarties and she kept crying saying something like twister or twist it. Ok I couldn't figure it out so Cake Mate gel went into the mouth she licked it, liked it & I gave some more. Well after a couple mins. of my heart dropping, wondering if her BG was raising we finally figured out my darn independent 2yr old just wanted to open/twist open the Smarties wrapper by herself. So she ate 1 Smarties, 1/2 banana, 1 Glucerna mini chocolate bar & 1/2 cup of Soy Milk.
I didn't care if she spiked I just wanted her up and over 100. So when I checked her 30 mins later I expected a 200+ but nope she was at 100. Then I thought crap maybe when I got the 53 I should've checked her again maybe she was lower. She has been really sensitive to insulin the past couple days so who knows. I felt so bad I cried. It took 20mins. for her to actually eat all the stuff. What if in those 20 mins. she plummeted lower? Oh..how all those thoughts, What Ifs, and coulda, woulda, shouldas take a toll on the emotions. I beat myself up for it for about 2hrs then I looked at her. She was dancing and singing. She came over and gave me a big hug and patted my back. It was like she was saying mommy I'm ok don't worry anymore. Maybe I forgot a step, missed a step or ran around crazy like a chicken with my head cut off trying to find sugar in my house but everything turned out okay. I tried my best. Elyssa was okay. I had to let the fear go, take a shot of Tequila or maybe 2 and just shake off all the emotions.
Sunday came we took Elyssa to get her hair cut. I think maybe the DKA & High blood sugars took a toll on her hair especially since she was pulling it out when we got home from the hospital. I chickened out and didn't go as short as I wanted too. It still looks cute but her curls are gone. :'( Then we were on our way to the park and came across a family farm selling jams, eggs & pickeled items. Elyssa got to see horses, goats, rabbits, chickens, quails, peacocks, pigs and a really huge tortoise for free. Elsewhere farms might be common but in Vegas I couldn't believe it. Elyssa is so scared of animals and all insects. She is even afraid of ladybugs it's so sad. The owners said we can take her anytime so she can get use to the animals. We spent so much time there when we got to the park the sun was going down. She hurried and went on the slides, the swings and ran around. She hasn't done that in a long time. All day her BGs stayed between 100-175. It was a great day. I will probably remember all the scary bad days. Hopefully she will only remember all the good days!