Monday, May 14, 2012

Mother's Day

I hope everyone had a great Mother's Day. As for our Mother's Day well that didn't go so good. Today has been filled with high blood sugars, 2 site changes, insulin shots, and many many finger pokes to check BGs and ketones.
I started to reflect on today and it's meaning. I know my daughter is too young to thank me for being her mom but I wondered if she would think I'm a good mom. I started realizing today that since her diagnosis last July I really haven't read to her, played with her, painted/colored with her or danced with her.
I told myself at the beginning that I would always let life be first and Diabetes second. Well it sort of seems I have let Diabetes win and go first. It's a really hard disease to take care of and I know I shouldn't beat myself up too much but I am. I'm working 40hrs. a week then come home too exhausted to do anything with her.
When she was in DKA and the ER doctor told me to pray that she wouldn't go into a coma I thought about all the things she never got to do and the life that she would miss out on. I have tried to take her out more but I don't know if it's enough. I don't know where I'm going to get all the energy to do everything but I have to put some pep in my step and start doing more things with her. I can't let Diabetes take away anymore precious moments & memories.

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